A milestone to remember when I received my first hate post on my Facebook Page out of no where. Instead of being really angry about it, I left it there. And then posted – “Just got my first racist message on my page! Seriously mate, you’ve just made a fool outta yourself.”

So I am Asian. I am Chinese. Technically, a 1/16th Manchurian Chinese and the rest, Han Chinese. Born in Hong Kong to a British Colony; before it became the Chinese Colony. (A matter to be discussed at another time.) From one British Colony to another, we have now settled in New Zealand.

Much like my fellow Asian friend, SMNZ’s John Lai, we seems to go through rather similar experiences. Reading his latest blog, Asian By Accident (and his drawing of Dragon Ball Z) brings back memories. My parents were not Tiger Parents because they never expected me to be amazing in my studies. However, my mom did all she can to make sure we have the best education so we can be ahead of everyone. Like all other Chinese kids, I did do ballet as a kid. But between sleeping and getting up at 9 to do ballet, sleeping won. And then, my grandmother thought it is better that my sister and I learn to swim instead of going to dance classes. And then my dad thought it was better for the girls to learn Teakwondo instead for some self-defense skills. My sister never stayed on, and I did.

Unlike John, we relocated because Hong Kong was going to become a Chinese colony and that freaked everyone out. So between UK, Singapore, and Australia, we have chosen New Zealand simply because it is a lot prettier. Yeah yeah, you would think if we have chosen UK, Singapore or Australia, my life would be a lot better than now too.

I was Asian by accident; in a different space. Suddenly my Asian-ness became a focus. Everyone assumed that I know everything about being Asian. The culture, the language. I’ve worked really hard to please their curiosity so I’ve learnt as much as I can about the different Asian communities.

And then like John, I’ve started my own business, not because I want to be inspirational like he is; nor because I found a gap somewhere so I want to be creative and come up with something smart. But it is because I want to pursue something that many Asian mothers will see as their worst fears – politics. Mom still extremely worried that I can’t make it, and that it is no good for me. Why can’t this girl just settle with office work, marry a nice guy and have a family, aye?

Messages like the one I received last night is one of the reasons why I want to pursue politics. I am not a hard-core advocate; I don’t believe that any race is better than the others. As a matter of fact, my family often talks about the Mainland Chinese culture because it is so alien to us. We can never understand why the Mainland Chinese want to do a dump in the middle of a shopping mall; nor why they squat in public spaces. I just want to help share the views and do something for the community that helped my grow. Nah, not world peace – if I thought that was important, I would have run for Miss Chinese New Zealand.

Like what John, and my friend Oliver said, I think our parents just wanted the best for us. Similar to every other migrants that settled in New Zealand for many generations.

And yeah, mom, I am actually doing alright. Maybe not as much money as I hope to earn; nor as normal as you wish I am. But I am really content. <3 you.

Follow up – 22 April 2013

Follow on from the posts – an article titled “warning on racist campaign” was featured on the NZ Herald. (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10878942). My advice to everyone, regardless of their ethnicities, is to treat this with respect. I do not encourage more abuse or attack; nor I think anyone should confront this and therefore result in any physical harm. It is important that we discuss racism and discrimination in an open, respectful and positive manner. This is an important discussion that needs to be discussed and not be scared.

Wow, it has been one year since my last saga about Dragon Baby – having said that, no babies but it doesn’t make me think less about having children, soon. A New Year means I am getting a year older!

Anyway, I have been talking about the Year of the Snake on community paper, TV and radio this year. Sharing a bit about Chinese New Year and what it means. Year of the Snake isn’t a good one, it is predicted to be one with bad weather – well we all probably know anyway because of that thing called global warming.

Regardless of what the predictions are – I wish everyone a super brilliant Year of the Snake. It is really about your family, your loved ones, and people you care!

Happy Chinese New Year y’all!!!

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 19,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 4 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

One of my past life is working as the Settlement Support Coordinator for the Auckland Regional Migrant Services, who is turning 10 on 11th December 2012. ARMS have settled over thousands of newcomers, the technical and proper word for new migrants who have lived in New Zealand for less than 3 years, and new refugees who have lived in New Zealand for less than 5. Only in the last couple of years, Immigration/Department of Labour have also added Expat New Zealanders, due to the economic downturn and the number of Kiwis coming back to New Zealand.

Settlement Support New Zealand

It is not easy job to settle for Kiwis who have been away for many years. ARMS didn’t have a programme for expats. The employment programme is aimed to help new migrants and refugees on how to find jobs in New Zealand. Expats don’t really need that. Nor they can get the mentorship they needed to resettle in New Zealand. Whilst some people say that Kiwis discriminate migrants, some of them also discriminated Kiwis and turned them down because “they have no New Zealand experiences”.

That always make me question – if Kiwi employers are worried about cultural conflicts, why were they worried that Kiwi expats cannot fit into the company’s culture? Or was it just a blanket policy to ban people who have no Kiwi experiences? And how do they ever get Kiwi experiences? It has always been a Catch-22 situation.

I’ve told my friend in China to learn how to settle in the ‘new’ country. She has family and friends there and if she could settle in New Zealand without an English language skills when she first arrived, I am sure she can resettle back in China. A tough time, I know. I had cultural shock when I first started work at ARMS. However I have faith that she can get past it and settle well.

I hope all newcomers, and expats, can enjoy a fantastic Kiwi Christmas this year and get to relax and enjoy some sun. Much needed summer holidays!

NZ Got Talent – Ching Chong Song

As impressed as I am about the conference, I was sitting there feeling very uncomfortable when the issues about racism came up. Look, I deal with ethnic communities all the time and racism is a matter that comes up almost all the time as well. Not news to me. I was not surprise that young people have received racist comments, heard racist comments, and some were brave enough to say that they have been racist themselves.
I was uncomfortable with the remarks by the presenters. Surely, I know, the Chinese were subjected to awful racism because they were the only group that have to pay a poll tax. Yes the Pacific community had the dawn raid. Yes, we have migrants who have to be angelised their names to get a job. Yes, Maori land were confiscated by the crown. Yes, there is still the foreshore and seabed debate. You get my point – I am definitely aware of the racism “colour people” face. Am I angry, hell yeah! But in NO circumstances, that makes it right for us to fight racism by using racism.

What am I saying? It is NOT OK to call the Pakeha/Caucasian/New Zealand European “white people”. “White People” are equally diverse. The “white people” who took the land, ask for poll tax, initiated the dawn raid, etc etc are not the same “white people” that recently migrated from the UK, South Africa, Eastern Europe… Not all “white people” come from the same region. Not all “white people” are racist.

It is not ok to think that all white people, therefore are privileged. Yes, we know that in general, they make more money, they have a better standard of living, and blondes may have more fun (I’ve been complimented on my blonde hair even though I am not “white!”) . No, it does not mean that therefore they will look down on you just because you are coloured people.

We do need to acknowledged the history and even the current times presents discrimination and racism against people of colour skin. We all do. We all make assumptions of who people are based on their looks, not just their skin colour. However, by just saying “the white people did this” and “the white people did that”, is not going to help promote positive race relationships. Instead, it promotes victimization by making all “coloured people” victims.

I have to confess that perhaps my own perceptions on the presentation had excluded me from listening clearly and enjoy the presentation in a different way, but there is no way, I believe, that we should fight racism with racism. We should instead promote positive race relations instead.

Peace!

So I’ve done a bit of research and came up with my list.

Note: this is just for fun – don’t take it seriously and of course you don’t have to agree with my list!

1. I need to be head over heals with you. Once that happened – there is no turning back!
2. Wanted to be in a long-term relationship and wanted to have children. I’ve openly said that I wanted children – if you didn’t get it by now that I wanted a family, Google search me. (Don’t worry I am not looking for someone to get married and have children tomorrow.)
3. A gentlemen who will do little things like decide which restaurant to go to, make the booking, open the doors, drive, won’t walk too fast when I am in heels, hold hands.
4. Political awareness. I am turning into a politician, so even if you aren’t a political geek, be aware. Undoubtedly I will talk to you about politics and would be good if you don’t find this annoying.
5. Respectful. I work with people of diverse background; gender, ethnicity, religion, age, occupation, etc. You don’t have to agree with their beliefs, do what they do, but I expect you to respect it. At least in the public. Not cool when someone I am dating with is openly racist when I work with the ethnic communities. Nor is it okay to tell me that religion is stupid when I have a family who have religious background.
6. Intelligence. There’s nothing sexier on a man than smart. But not to be a smart arse. If you know what I mean.
7. Trustworthiness. When I share my secrets or personal life with someone, I won’t tolerate them being thrown back in my face or aired publicly. I need to know that I can trust my partner to never do this.
8. Emotional suppportive. I want someone who will be supportive when I am at my weakest. Which happens a bit. (Ain’t as strong as one may think I am)
9. Attractive. Yes this is very shallow but I like attractive people.
10. Sexual Compatibility. I love a positive sexual experience. I see sex as the most intimate and loving thing one can do with their partner. It is important for me!
11. Emotional Maturity. Someone who is willing to look at themselves with an objective eye. Someone who looks not only to the fulfillment of their own needs, but with a concern for the needs of others. I am not a needy person but I don’t appreciate someone making me feel worse when I am not happy. Or depressed.
12. Being loyal and not seeking other women. If you don’t like me no more, just be honest. I won’t ask you to sit down and talk about it. I will cry and call you names, but I will get over it.
13. Great kissing required.
14. Being financially mature and responsible.
15. Respect each other’s personal space and time – happy for you to have your boys time, but so should the girls. I want my time away from you, and that doesn’t mean I am going to cheat on you.
16. Socializing willingly and pleasantly in groups or with friends, both his and hers. I do a lot of networking events. Too many.

Application closes until the right candidate is recruited. You maybe subjected to extra interview processes by random people like colleagues, friends and families. Don’t worry too much. They ain’t scary.

I think I am ok with the list. Should I add to this you think?

Love
Bevan

Hong Kong after the fireworks that celebrated the 15th Anniversary.

Hong Kongers were looking forward to Hong Kongers taking their own leadership and decide the fate of Hong Kong.

Hong Kongers have r been more proud of themselves. The University of Hong Kong asked 1,016 residents to rate how strongly they feel themselves as “Hong Kong citizen.” On a scale of zero to 10 — 10 being the strongest — the average rating was 8.23, the highest in 10 years of regular polling.

The rating for their feelings about being a “Chinese citizen” averaged at 7.01, a 12-year low.

The question of identity was a direct results of the dissatisfaction many Hong Kongers have had about Mainland China. Hong Kongers increasingly believed their rights and democracy is slowly given up to the Communist Chinese, a concern raised by the last Governor, Chris Patten.

Ten of thousands of Hong Kongers marched down Causeway Bay on the 1st July, not to celebrate the anniversary, but to protest against the increasingly corrupted society, the new Chief Executive Officer, C Y Leung, human rights issues in China and the lack of democratic process in Hong Kong. Hong Kongers marched down Hong Kong’s busiest area with flags of Hong Kong. The flags of Colonial Hong Kong.

Flag of Hong Kong (current)

Flag of Hong Kong (Colonial)

The appointment ceremony of Mr C Y Leung on 1st July was conducted in Mandarin and English, while Hong Kong’s official spoken language has always been Cantonese and English. The celebratory ceremony was also filled with performances that could be seen only on CCTV.

Whilst the rest of the world are anti-colonisation, Hong Kong was in a unique place where people would rather be a colony. There seems to be more freedom, more democracy, people also had a better life.

Hong Kongers are in a battle to regain their freedom, their voice, their identity, and their democracy. A battle that Hong Kongers may never win.

I’ve received a phone call late last year from Notable Pictures who wanted to do a series of documentary. They have contacted the 10 of us from different backgrounds; different age groups, gender, sexual orientation, country of origin and even current place of residence. The one thing that bonded us was our identity as 1.5 generations.

1.5 generations or 1.5G are people who immigrate to a new country before or during their early teens. We bring characteristics from our home country but continue to integrate into the new country.

Many of us are bi-cultural, combining both cultures – culture from the country of origin with the culture of the new country. Our identification will be affected by experiences growing up in the new country. We are often bilingual and find it easier to integrate into the local culture and society than people who immigrated as adults.

Each week, audiences meet one 18-30 year old who is facing a defining moment in our life, and explore our concerns, hopes and fears. We have to use a handicam to record our own candid thoughts and feelings as well as introducing the mainstream to the refugee or migrant communities.

Each of us explored an issue, which unveil how our world views that may contradict to different cultural beliefs, and yet how we embraced this unique identity. The filming for each person took around 3 months, and each scene took a day to shoot. We were all involved with the filming, from the conception of each story, to discussion on how the story should go.

My specific topic was about my journey looking for a partner. Being a 1.5G means that it is hard to find someone who also shares the cultural understanding, particularly for someone like me to who deals with multicultural ethnic communities every day. There were some discussions that migrant Chinese boys find Chinese girls who have dated a “gwai lo” (white man) as “less worthy”. At the same time, when you have a relationship with a non-Chinese, they do not necessary understand many of the cultural practices that we take for granted.

Of course, my issues are more than my cultural background. I have been called “intimidating”; I present myself as a strong independent woman who are very strong minded, thus intimidating. Just because this is how I look, this is not necessarily who I am.

My friend reminded me the following the other day:

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” Notting Hill.

1.5 Kiwis are often seen too Kiwi by their ethnic communities, and ethnic by the Kiwi community. Finding a balance in the both worlds was a theme for me, and many others in the documentary.

It was an interesting experience – when you walk around all parts of Auckland with a film crew – you attract a lot of attention and a lot of questions. You also grow from being very camera conscience to become very comfortable. You constantly have to evaluate what you can say and what the producers/directors wanted. I remember sitting in front of the TV nervously even though I have seen the final edit of the show. I was wondering what my family; friends and colleagues would think when it went on air.

I was super nervous not only because of what people would think about me, and my passion with burlesque, but declaring that I had a crush on someone who, after the filming, have told me he is not interested in a relationship though that did not stop us from being seeing each another and kept doing what we were doing.

I was super nervous because I knew someone would tell him. I freaked out when I saw that he liked the Facebook page. I freaked out thinking he would never want to talk to me again. What if he hates me now? All these unnecessary thoughts are going through my head.

I was overwhelmed by the responses – I have people texting or contacting me on Facebook throughout the screening; people discussing this online; and people leaving messages online wanting to know how I am doing now.

I feel honoured to be invited to be part of this; I am passionate about telling the stories of 1.5G, particularly because I am one. I am very proud of all of us as we need to be courageous enough to share some of the most intimate moments of our lives and believes to the public. I am also very proud to be involved with a production which the hard work in promoting race relations was recognised by the Human Rights Commission.

Human Rights Commission’s recognition of Both Worlds.

It is screening on TV3, every Saturday at 10.25am until 4 August. You can follow the participants on http://www.facebook.com/BOTHWorldsNZ

If you haven’t seen my clip -  you can see all episodes on http://ondemand.tv3.co.nz and search “Both Worlds”.

There are good and bad about being such an open book – that many people can take it the wrong way – either that I want to do this to be famous (and unfortunately it doesn’t!) or want to start criticising about my world views.

It was nerve wrecking for me because even though this was wrapped up a few months ago, and my life have moved on since then (my hair colour is different now and I even had a new phone!) – this is the first time the audience and my friend saw it.

The essence of the story really is, as much as I wanted to settle down, find love, while I continue to contribute to the community, I don’t want to rush this. I am actually being extra cautious. Was a wakening message when Kourtney Kardashian said to Kim Kardashian that she should not rushed into her marriage because of the fairy tale, she should just find happiness.

As tough or intimidating as some people think I am, I am just a girl. This is why I do burlesque. I like to be seen just as a girl. And I love day dreaming – I love to fantasize, and I do love fairy tales. I know. Lame huh?

Being a 1.5 generation New Zealander is a special status – I get the best of both worlds, I can be a Hong Kong Chinese or a New Zealander whenever I want. I can go and buy pretty Japanese things (yes… Hello Kitty and bling studded phone covers), or enjoy a beer and screamed on top of my lungs when I watch the All Blacks.

It took me a long time to feel comfortable about who I am, what I do, and how I am seen. I hope the short clip showed everyone the more “human” and “girly” side of me!!

Happy long weekend!